Monthly Archives: June 2010

Opposition Conflict of Interest?

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Democracy Under Fire brought this Chris Aikman article to my attention and it explains the spinelessness of all opposition members when it comes to the state of corruption in Canada’s Parliament.

While I believe MPs should get paid well (including their benefits), the argument makes total sense – why would someone bother with leading the country when half-a-million in personal benefits are at stake?

Canadians! We Have The FLOP!!

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(Picture circus music playing in the background and a presenter much like PT Barnum or Tony Sheppard from the Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus)

Yes, fellow Canadians, it’s time we got into gear.

We at the helm have created an exciting program just for … US!

It’s called the FLOP or the Federal Lining Our Pockets program.

What’s the FLOP you ask?

Well, the FLOP starts with Federal.  As the Federal government, we’re here to take everything away from you and give it to the people that we want to give it to … and not you imbeciles who actually represent the majority.

It continues with Lining the Pockets (of Our Friends).

We’re going to make religious zealot gets your cash, but only if they show that they are still willing to live in the dark ages and believe that Fred Flinstone lived with the dinosaurs.

We are all about making people in Canada better off, but only US.  Not you.

We will have meetings in the halls, bury information (assuming we have a trail to begin with) and we’ll do it while flaunting our lack of majority to the rest of the country.

We’ll use taxpayer dollars to hire hookers as secretaries and pack our office desks with coke and any other party drug you can imagine.

We’ll spend YOUR money to beat you back with sound cannons and you’ll drop your pants and ask for more.  We’ll hire all kinds of goons to corral dissenters and we’ll pay them a billion or two to do it.  And we’ll insist on our cut.  Of course!!

We’re so friendly with the Hell’s Angels and other mobs that nearly every dollar of your “Lining Our Pockets” program will go to them (besides the ones we keep for ourselves, of course!).  You might see it eventually, but only when crooks spend money at your hotel or restaurant.  No pictures please.

We’ll whine and cry like a six year-old when we don’t get our way and we’ll make up the craziest, bat-shitty statistics to back up our ongoing array of lies.  Crime going down?  Doesn’t matter.  We still need to spend outrageous sums of cash on prisons to pen all of you thieving rats called ‘downloaders’.  Might as well be ‘freeloaders’, right?

Let’s face it folks:  we can’t keep track of our lies any more.  We have no idea how many of us are ripping you off, so we’ll just remind you that’s it’s probably all of us.

We will twist and turn this fucked up democracy beyond the level of being fucked up and will stay in power as long as we can count on the ‘opposition’ to have a complete lack of cajones.  I mean, talk about cowards!  They run when they see their own shadows!!

We’ll be rolling out the FLOP to other countries, implementing economic and social programs that run counter to what already exists in Canada.  Because we CAN.

Never forget:  we’re not the CONservatives, we’re the CANservatives.

We CAN serve ourselves and we will.

Merger Madness: Should the Liberals Just Disband?

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Amid the talk of merging two extremely inconsistent parties, I have another suggestion:  the Liberals should consider disbanding.

Hear me out …

The Liberals have been on a downward swing for a number of years, arguably decades.

The leadership through the 1990s was either self-indulgent or slashed at federal budgets more than any tight-fisted socon ever would.

In today’s state, they’ve failed to differentiate themselves when it comes to policy.  They either side with the Conservatives or they have nothing.

Their current leader is a putz.  Just because he’s sitting low in the polls doesn’t mean it’s time to take a break when it comes to breaking up the potentially devastating pile of steaming turd called the 2010/2011 fiscal budget and omnibus bill.  You could have supported the budget, but you didn’t have to eat all of the crap that came with it.

In fact, we are dealing with the most corrupt and irresponsible government Canada has ever seen and both the Liberals and the NDP are enabling them to exist.

Their legacy has faded into a waft of self-delusion and aristocracy.  There was nothing democratic about the crowning of Sir Michael.  There was no effort to engage Canadians in the process.  There was only an effort to disengage from someone who was actually a really decent Parliamentarian (Dion).

Of course, from a party perspective, are there other options?  Are the NDP under Jack Layton any better?  Brad Lavigne argues that they’ve done substantially well and he’s correct.  The only problem is that Jack is busy selling off his union card in exchange for a Canadian Taxpayer’s Federation subscription, doing everything he can to keep the current socon crowd afloat.

I’m frustrated because my options have run out.  You could argue there’s the Pirate Party or the yellow socons called the Green Party.  Realistically, neither of these are realistic choices.

All I want to do is defeat the Conservatives.

So … suggestions?

Trash Talk and Tim’s

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I’ve decided to stray from the usual venting about news in the Canadian political arena. There’s simply too much ticking me off and making me feel helpless as a voter to comment on.

I’ve chosen instead to target Tim’s. Yes, the venerable institution of Canadian coffee consumption, Tim Horton’s.

Is it me or do others agree that people that consume Tim Horton’s have the most reckless disregard for the environment?

Why is it that Tim’s cups or packages represent the most abundant volume of trash that I see on the ground, in my neighbourhood, on streets, and around schools?

What compels someone to just guzzle down a double-double and then just pitch the cup out the window?

What kind of slobs are these people?

Obviously, given the massive use of drive-thrus, they seem to be people who are willing to throw their mother in front of a bus rather than get out of their gas-sucking SUVs and walk into the store.

Now, in fairness, I see a significant volume of McDonald’s wrappers, Wendy’s cups and other crap from fast-food restaurants lying on the ground as I walk from work or bring my kid to the park. The culprit is usually carries the same theme: fast food. Of course, this whole scenario invites the question (and opportunity) about having a packaging tax for all of these fast food companies.

However, the lion’s share and gold medal goes to Tim’s. If you think I’m wrong, do your own test and give me your feedback.

So again … what is it about these people? Are they lazy? Stupid? Destructive? Both?

And even though I promised that I’d stay away from politics, what is it about politicians sucking up to Tim’s lovers? Every “press” meeting that Stephen Harper has held in Canada in the last two years seems to have been at a Tim’s. Do they do this because they know that people that vote conservative are regular residents of the Tim Horton’s Environmental Devastation efforts? Do they make appealing targets for crappy policy like no HST on doughnuts, but HST applied to books and produce, a la Dalton McGuinty?

What is it about this crowd that wields so much political influence and yet offers nothing in terms of the environmental future of this country?

I’m tempted to organize a “Tim Trash Weigh-In” contest, where people in various communities go around their neighbourhoods, pick up the Tim’s Trash and compete with each other to see who collects the most. Of course, the irony might be lost on the winning team, but it’d be worth the press.

In time, I hope that we ALL learn that not everything is disposable and we should heed the lessons of our Scout leaders: leave the place better than when you got here.

Support the Gun Registry! Call These MPs and Defeat Bill C-391!

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Jack Layton has decided that he won’t ‘whip’ his MPs with respect to the private member’s bill to destroy the gun registry.

Has he decided that a few rural ridings are more important than the safety of all Canadians?

Has he decided that it’s best to act without a vision than to have one and risk losing a vote or two?

Has he decided that it’s OK to continue to prop up the Harper Regime at the expense of all Canadians?

I guess so, which makes it all the more important to contact the following MPs immediately and express your desire to see Private Member’s Bill C-391 DEFEATED!

Please copy/paste/share these addresses with your friends and family!

Here’s a quick list of all of the email addresses:L,,,,,,,,,,,

Allen, Malcolm
T: 905-788-2204
Ottawa: 613-995-0988

Angus, Charlie
Timmins/James Bay
T: 705-567-2747
Ottawa: 613-992-2919

Ashton, Niki
T: 866-785-0522
Ottawa: 613-992-3018

Bevington, Dennis
Western Arctic
T: 867-873-6995
Ottawa: 613-992-4587

Cullen, Nathan
Skeena Bulkley Valley
T: (250) 877-4140
Ottawa: 613 993 6654

Gravelle, Claude
Nickel Belt
T: 705-897-2222
Ottawa: 613-995-9107

Hughes, Carol
Algoma / Manitoulin / Kapuskasing
T: 705-848-8080
Ottawa: 613-996-5376

Hyer, Bruce
Thunder Bay / Superior North
T: 807-345-1818
Ottawa: 613 996 4792

Maloway, Jim
Elmwood / Transcona
T: 204-984-2499
Ottawa: 613-995-6339

Rafferty, John
Thunder Bay / Rainy River
T: 807-623-6000
Ottawa: 613 992 3061

Stoffer, Peter
Sackville / Eastern Shore
T: 902-861-2311
Ottawa: 613-995-5822

Thibeault, Glenn
T: 705-673-7107
Ottawa: 613-996-8962

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