MayDay 2011: FREE KITTENS AND/OR PUPPIES*
Yes, Canadians, you too can have FREE kittens and/or puppies*. These will be the ones that we save from the evil Liberals and Socialists that eat cute animals for breakfast.
In other words, when hell freezes over.
*To qualify, you must be a member of the Conservative Party of Canada, be white, be able to identify that you voted for the CPC in at least 3 of the last 4 elections, have at least 8 children (adopted kids are NOT acceptable), non-gay, have your own home, not be a senior, have family heritage in Canada that is at least 100 years old and recordable according to Archives Canada and must at all times wear blue.