MayDay 2011: FREE KITTENS AND/OR PUPPIES*

Yes, Canadians, you too can have FREE kittens and/or puppies*.  These will be the ones that we save from the evil Liberals and Socialists that eat cute animals for breakfast.

This will follow the Conservative Party of Canada’s current election promise to give tax breaks to families some time later in this decade.

In other words, when hell freezes over.

*To qualify, you must be a member of the Conservative Party of Canada, be white, be able to identify that you voted for the CPC in at least 3 of the last 4 elections, have at least 8 children (adopted kids are NOT acceptable), non-gay, have your own home, not be a senior, have family heritage in Canada that is at least 100 years old and recordable according to Archives Canada and must at all times wear blue.